Dicholas Chad Pansy

Dicholas Chad Pansy

Dicholas Chad Pansy

A consulter en ligne

Affiche du document Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)

Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)

Dicholas Chad Pansy

56min15

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
75 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 56min.
A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink BreathingDo you lie awake at night replaying that weird thing you said in 2014? Do you spend more time analyzing text messages than actually responding to them? Do you sometimes mistake mild discomfort for a full-blown medical emergency?Congratulations! You have anxiety."Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)" is the book for anyone who has ever:✅ Imagined an entire argument that never actually happened.✅ Thought someone hated them because they used a period instead of an exclamation mark.✅ Googled their symptoms and immediately planned their funeral.This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.Inside, you’ll find:???? The Social Anxiety Checklist™ (includes "Laughed weirdly and immediately regretted it")???? A guide to Overanalyzing Texts (Spoiler: Just Stop)???? A Flowchart for Deciding Whether to Send That Apology Text (Spoiler: Don’t Do It)???? Proof that your boss’s "Good morning" email is not a secret plan to fire youIf you’ve ever wished you could return your brain for one that doesn’t assume the worst at all times, this book is for you. Laugh through the panic—because if you can’t fix it, you might as well make fun of it.
Accès libre
Affiche du document Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)

Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)

Dicholas Chad Pansy

38min15

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
51 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 38min.
Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.)Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.If you’ve ever:✔️ Rehearsed saying “here” before roll call.✔️ Changed grocery store lines to avoid small talk.✔️ Said “you too” when a waiter told you to enjoy your meal.✔️ Sent a text, reread it 27 times, and still panicked…Congratulations! You may be entitled to financial compensation (just kidding, but you will find this book painfully relatable).In Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours), we’ll explore:???? The existential nightmare of casual goodbyes (“See you later”... but WILL you?).???? How to pretend you’re normal in a conversation (spoiler: you’re failing).???? The traumatic experience of picking up the phone.???? Why texting is just anxiety in digital form.???? The social death that comes when your joke lands flat in a group chat.???? How to leave a party without having to say goodbye 47 times.This is not a self-help book. This is a documentation of your suffering, written by someone who also lies awake at night thinking about that one awkward thing they did in 2013.You don’t need therapy. You need to read this book and laugh at how dysfunctional we all are.
Accès libre
Affiche du document I Feel That

I Feel That

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h21min00

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
108 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h21min.
???? Are you emotionally exhausted for no reason? Do you pick up on other people’s vibes like a human satellite dish? Have you ever locked eyes with a sad-looking dog and suddenly needed therapy? ????CONGRATULATIONS! You might be an empath.(Or just a really tired person who needs a nap. Either way, this book is for you.)From the chaotically overwhelmed mind of bestselling author Dicholas Chad Pansy comes the first-ever survival guide for empaths who have absolutely no idea how to stop absorbing other people’s problems like an unpaid emotional support sponge.Inside these pages, you’ll learn:✔️ How to instantly recognize an emotional vampire before they drain your soul dry (Hint: If their text says "Can I vent?" RUN.)✔️ The five stages of realizing you’re an empath: Confusion, Denial, Over-Commitment, Burnout, and Googling "Can I return my empathy?"✔️ Why crowded places feel like a sensory assault: (Spoiler: Because they ARE.)✔️ The scientifically unproven but emotionally accurate concept of "Empath Fatigue™"—a condition where you are exhausted, but not from anything you actually did.✔️ How to set boundaries like a functioning adult (But let’s be honest, you won’t.)✔️ A step-by-step guide to ignoring toxic positivity without getting arrested.???? BONUS FEATURES:✅ Empath Bingo! (Check off "Apologized for something that wasn’t my fault," "Cried over a fictional character," and "Overanalyzed a text message for three hours.")✅ A guide to ghosting narcissists with zero guilt. (Yes, you ARE allowed to disappear.)✅ Top 10 lies you tell yourself as an empath, starting with "I’m fine."???? WARNING: This book will not help you become a better person. It will, however, make you feel less alone while you continue spiraling into emotional exhaustion.???? Read at your own risk. (Or don’t. You’ll probably feel guilty either way.)
Accès libre
Affiche du document Dead Inside, But Functional

Dead Inside, But Functional

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h16min30

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
102 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h16min.
Are you tired of pretending to care? Do you want to survive life with the absolute least amount of emotional effort? Congratulations—you’re ready to become Dead Inside, But Functional.Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do.This book is not about healing. It’s about perfecting the fine art of detachment while still participating in society just enough to avoid suspicion.Inside, You’ll Learn:☠️ How to master the dead-eyed customer service smile while thinking about absolutely nothing☠️ The science of responding to any crisis with “Damn, that sucks” and moving on immediately☠️ Why “It is what it is” should be your life motto☠️ How to fake emotional depth by saying, “I just don’t open up easily”☠️ Strategic bathroom breaks: The only legally acceptable way to escape responsibility☠️ How to nod convincingly while mentally escaping to Ancient Rome☠️ The trick to falling asleep in three minutes by accepting your own mortality☠️ How to function just enough at work so no one notices you’re doing absolutely nothingThis is not a motivational book. It won’t inspire you. It won’t fix you. It will simply help you navigate life in the most effortless way possible, while maintaining just enough interaction to avoid being declared legally missing.
Accès libre
Affiche du document Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed

Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h12min45

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
97 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h13min.
Are you tired of getting ghosted?Sick of waiting for that text back that will never come?Ever wondered how you, too, can master the art of emotional escape artistry?Good news, coward! This book is here to validate your worst instincts and teach you how to disappear like a true professional.Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst.Inside, you’ll learn:???? The Ghosting Spectrum: From “Oops, Forgot to Reply” to “Federal Witness Protection Disappearance.”???? Microghosting: How to vanish just enough to make someone question their entire self-worth.???? The Five Stages of Being Ghosted: Including "Hoping They’re in a Coma" and "Guess I’ll Ghost Someone Else to Restore Balance."???? How to Reverse-Ghost a Ghoster: (You thought YOU could disappear first? THINK AGAIN.)???? The Petty Art of Haunting: How to like their Instagram post from 2017 just to unnerve them.???? Closure? Who Needs It? Featuring Ghost-Proof Text Templates that will make them cry in their car.With cutthroat humor, unhinged pettiness, and disturbingly relatable dating horror stories, this book is part survival guide, part revenge manual, and 100% guaranteed to make you laugh instead of cry over that person who “forgot to text back.”
Accès libre
Affiche du document How to Be a Debbie Downer

How to Be a Debbie Downer

Dicholas Chad Pansy

2h04min30

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
166 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 2h04min.
Are you tired of people being happy around you? Do you dream of a world where no one dares to enjoy life in your presence?Congratulations! ???? You’ve just found the ultimate guide to turning every interaction into an awkward, joyless nightmare. Whether it’s crushing enthusiasm, ruining weddings, or making sure no one ever tells you good news again, this book will teach you everything you need to become a certified Debbie Downer.Inside, you’ll learn:???? How to strategically sigh in a way that instantly kills the mood???? The best ways to bring up divorce at a wedding???? Why you should loudly question the practicality of having kids at a baby shower???? The advanced art of sucking the energy out of a room???? How to turn free food, puppies, and sunsets into existential crises???? The science of responding to compliments with immediate negativity???? Debbie Downer Bingo – how many joy-sucking habits have YOU mastered????? And much, much worse…This is not a self-help book. This is a self-destruction book. If you’ve ever wanted to be the reason people pause before sharing good news, the one person no one invites to game night, or the friend everyone dreads sitting next to at a party, this is the book for you.☠️ WARNING: Reading this book may cause:✔️ Loss of friends and social invitations✔️ An increase in long, uncomfortable silences✔️ The deep satisfaction of knowing you’ve ruined someone’s day
Accès libre
Affiche du document Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human

Live, Laugh, Lobotomy - The Ultimate Guide to Becoming a Pleasantly Vacant Human

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h07min30

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
90 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h07min.
Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale? Then Live, Laugh, Lobotomy is your ticket to freedom—the kind that comes from ditching stress, worries, and any shred of responsibility for a lifestyle of cheerful, blissful vacancy. This isn’t your grandma’s self-help book; it’s a sarcastic, biting manifesto for erasing overthinking and embracing the art of not giving a damn.In this unapologetic guide, you’ll learn how to:Smile vacantly through apocalypses and awkward conversations alike.Ignore global crises, emails, and your own flaws like a pro.Fake intelligence with memes and “Wow, that’s crazy” while knowing next to nothing.Turn social media into a mind-numbing paradise and avoidance into a chic lifestyle.With razor-sharp wit and zero pretense, this book proves the less you know, the happier you are—because the real secret to thriving is caring less than a lobotomized goldfish. Say goodbye to existential misery and hello to a brain fog so thick you’ll forget why you ever stressed in the first place. Perfect for anyone who’s ready to laugh at life’s chaos and float through it like a beautifully clueless cloud.Welcome to the lobotomized elite—your stress-free, worry-proof sanctuary of ignorance awaits. Grab your copy, stop overanalyzing, and start living the vacant dream today!
Accès libre
Affiche du document Stoicism for the Hopeless

Stoicism for the Hopeless

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h06min00

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
88 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h06min.
Are you tired of feeling things? Do you want to stop caring about life’s endless nonsense? Congratulations—you’re ready for Stoicism.Life is a relentless parade of disasters, disappointments, and idiots who won’t shut up. And yet, most people spend their days panicking, complaining, and overreacting—wasting precious energy on things they can’t control. A true Stoic? They sip their coffee in complete silence while the world crumbles around them.This book will teach you the fine art of emotional detachment so that nothing—not traffic, not heartbreak, not even the impending collapse of civilization—can shake you.Inside, You’ll Learn:???? How to wake up every morning knowing that today will be a mess—and being fine with it???? The “Meh” response system for handling everything from job loss to bad WiFi???? Why material things are pointless (but also, let’s be real, heated car seats are amazing)???? How to pretend to listen while mentally escaping to Ancient Rome???? How to master the blank, expressionless stare that makes people deeply uncomfortable???? Why billionaires would be happier living in a cave (but you still need rent money, so don’t do that)???? The nightly ritual of contemplating death so you can sleep like a sociopathThis is not a self-help book. This is a self-detachment book. If you’re ready to become an unshakable force of calm indifference, to stop letting life stress you out, and to fully embrace the Stoic art of not giving a single damn, this is the book for you.☠️ WARNING: Reading this book may cause:✔️ A total loss of interest in pointless drama✔️ An inability to react to nonsense, even when expected to✔️ People wondering if you’re deeply enlightened or just emotionally broken
Accès libre
Affiche du document Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)

Should I Do This or That? (Wait, Let’s Reconsider Everything)

Dicholas Chad Pansy

54min00

  • Humour
  • Livres audio
  • Youscribe plus
72 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 54min.
A Guide to Making Decisions, Then Changing Your Mind 47 Times???? WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along.This book is for overthinkers, procrastinators, and chronically indecisive disasters who would rather launch themselves into the sun than commit to literally anything. If you’ve ever:✔️ Spent an hour picking a movie, only to give up and rewatch The Office.✔️ Polled multiple friends about a minor decision, then ignored their advice.✔️ Stared at a restaurant menu like it was a life-or-death situation.✔️ Regretted a choice the second you made it.✔️ Overanalyzed a text message for so long that you never sent it.Congratulations—you have Decision Paralysis, and this book will make you feel seen.Inside, you’ll find absolutely zero useful strategies for overcoming indecision, but you will get:A breakdown of why your brain refuses to let you make choices like a normal person.An in-depth look at why picking a dinner spot with friends always ends in silent rage.A highly scientific decision-making flowchart (spoiler: you still won’t pick anything).A chance to laugh at your own dysfunction instead of actually fixing it.So, should you buy this book????? Yes.???? No.???? Maybe.???? Let me think about it first.(You’ll probably just add it to your cart and stare at it for six weeks, but hey—at least that’s on brand.)
Accès libre

...

x Cacher la playlist

Commandes > x
     

Aucune piste en cours de lecture

 

 

--|--
--|--
Activer/Désactiver le son