Catalogue - page 4

Affiche du document No Self, No God, No Clue

No Self, No God, No Clue

Sophia Blackwell

1h03min00

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84 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h03min.
ohn Locke: Enlightenment philosopher, father of liberalism, inventor of “natural rights,” and accidental spiritual patron of land developers, libertarians, and your uncle who won’t shut up about property taxes.In this gloriously sarcastic takedown of one of Western philosophy’s most over-quoted minds, Sophia Blackwell (Kant You Not, No Self, No God, No Clue) guides you through Locke’s greatest hits—including:The blank slate theory, which basically says you’re born dumb and the world makes you worseHis ideas on identity, which collapse the second you forget your phone passwordHis version of consent, which mostly consists of “You didn’t leave, so I assume you’re fine with it.”And of course, property rights—where mixing your labor with the earth somehow makes it yours, and stealing land becomes morally correct as long as you bring a shovelLocke’s political philosophy inspired democracies, revolutions, and every 400-comment Reddit thread titled “Taxation is theft.”This is not a respectful biography.This is a roast. A eulogy. A survival guide for understanding how Locke gave us:LiberalismLandlordsLegal headachesAnd a political system that thinks fencing off a patch of dirt = moral superiorityPerfect for:Recovering philosophy studentsPolitical skepticsEnlightenment hatersProperty law survivorsAnd anyone who wants to laugh while questioning whether government is just a giant metaphor for a really passive-aggressive roommate agreementYou don’t need to read Two Treatises of Government.You just need to know Locke said, “I think I own that,” and people believed him.
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Affiche du document I Think I Own That

I Think I Own That

Sophia Blackwell

57min00

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76 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 57min.
John Locke: Enlightenment philosopher, father of liberalism, inventor of “natural rights,” and accidental spiritual patron of land developers, libertarians, and your uncle who won’t shut up about property taxes.In this gloriously sarcastic takedown of one of Western philosophy’s most over-quoted minds, Sophia Blackwell (Kant You Not, No Self, No God, No Clue) guides you through Locke’s greatest hits—including:The blank slate theory, which basically says you’re born dumb and the world makes you worseHis ideas on identity, which collapse the second you forget your phone passwordHis version of consent, which mostly consists of “You didn’t leave, so I assume you’re fine with it.”And of course, property rights—where mixing your labor with the earth somehow makes it yours, and stealing land becomes morally correct as long as you bring a shovelLocke’s political philosophy inspired democracies, revolutions, and every 400-comment Reddit thread titled “Taxation is theft.”This is not a respectful biography.This is a roast. A eulogy. A survival guide for understanding how Locke gave us:LiberalismLandlordsLegal headachesAnd a political system that thinks fencing off a patch of dirt = moral superiorityPerfect for:Recovering philosophy studentsPolitical skepticsEnlightenment hatersProperty law survivorsAnd anyone who wants to laugh while questioning whether government is just a giant metaphor for a really passive-aggressive roommate agreementYou don’t need to read Two Treatises of Government.You just need to know Locke said, “I think I own that,” and people believed him.
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Affiche du document Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)

Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)

Dicholas Chad Pansy

56min15

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75 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 56min.
A Survival Guide for People Who Overthink BreathingDo you lie awake at night replaying that weird thing you said in 2014? Do you spend more time analyzing text messages than actually responding to them? Do you sometimes mistake mild discomfort for a full-blown medical emergency?Congratulations! You have anxiety."Everything Is Fine (Unless It’s Not, In Which Case, Panic)" is the book for anyone who has ever:✅ Imagined an entire argument that never actually happened.✅ Thought someone hated them because they used a period instead of an exclamation mark.✅ Googled their symptoms and immediately planned their funeral.This is not a self-help book. This is a validation of your deeply chaotic existence—a hilarious, biting, and painfully relatable deep dive into the spirals, overthinking, and worst-case-scenario fantasies that come with having a brain that refuses to chill.Inside, you’ll find:???? The Social Anxiety Checklist™ (includes "Laughed weirdly and immediately regretted it")???? A guide to Overanalyzing Texts (Spoiler: Just Stop)???? A Flowchart for Deciding Whether to Send That Apology Text (Spoiler: Don’t Do It)???? Proof that your boss’s "Good morning" email is not a secret plan to fire youIf you’ve ever wished you could return your brain for one that doesn’t assume the worst at all times, this book is for you. Laugh through the panic—because if you can’t fix it, you might as well make fun of it.
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Affiche du document Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)

Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours)

Dicholas Chad Pansy

38min15

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51 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 38min.
Did I just embarrass myself? (Probably, but let’s obsess over it for 12 hours.)Welcome to the official handbook for people who replay every conversation they've ever had like it's a humiliating movie they didn’t consent to star in.If you’ve ever:✔️ Rehearsed saying “here” before roll call.✔️ Changed grocery store lines to avoid small talk.✔️ Said “you too” when a waiter told you to enjoy your meal.✔️ Sent a text, reread it 27 times, and still panicked…Congratulations! You may be entitled to financial compensation (just kidding, but you will find this book painfully relatable).In Did I Just Embarrass Myself? (Probably, But Let’s Obsess Over It for 12 Hours), we’ll explore:???? The existential nightmare of casual goodbyes (“See you later”... but WILL you?).???? How to pretend you’re normal in a conversation (spoiler: you’re failing).???? The traumatic experience of picking up the phone.???? Why texting is just anxiety in digital form.???? The social death that comes when your joke lands flat in a group chat.???? How to leave a party without having to say goodbye 47 times.This is not a self-help book. This is a documentation of your suffering, written by someone who also lies awake at night thinking about that one awkward thing they did in 2013.You don’t need therapy. You need to read this book and laugh at how dysfunctional we all are.
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Affiche du document I Feel That

I Feel That

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h21min00

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108 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h21min.
???? Are you emotionally exhausted for no reason? Do you pick up on other people’s vibes like a human satellite dish? Have you ever locked eyes with a sad-looking dog and suddenly needed therapy? ????CONGRATULATIONS! You might be an empath.(Or just a really tired person who needs a nap. Either way, this book is for you.)From the chaotically overwhelmed mind of bestselling author Dicholas Chad Pansy comes the first-ever survival guide for empaths who have absolutely no idea how to stop absorbing other people’s problems like an unpaid emotional support sponge.Inside these pages, you’ll learn:✔️ How to instantly recognize an emotional vampire before they drain your soul dry (Hint: If their text says "Can I vent?" RUN.)✔️ The five stages of realizing you’re an empath: Confusion, Denial, Over-Commitment, Burnout, and Googling "Can I return my empathy?"✔️ Why crowded places feel like a sensory assault: (Spoiler: Because they ARE.)✔️ The scientifically unproven but emotionally accurate concept of "Empath Fatigue™"—a condition where you are exhausted, but not from anything you actually did.✔️ How to set boundaries like a functioning adult (But let’s be honest, you won’t.)✔️ A step-by-step guide to ignoring toxic positivity without getting arrested.???? BONUS FEATURES:✅ Empath Bingo! (Check off "Apologized for something that wasn’t my fault," "Cried over a fictional character," and "Overanalyzed a text message for three hours.")✅ A guide to ghosting narcissists with zero guilt. (Yes, you ARE allowed to disappear.)✅ Top 10 lies you tell yourself as an empath, starting with "I’m fine."???? WARNING: This book will not help you become a better person. It will, however, make you feel less alone while you continue spiraling into emotional exhaustion.???? Read at your own risk. (Or don’t. You’ll probably feel guilty either way.)
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Affiche du document Dead Inside, But Functional

Dead Inside, But Functional

Dicholas Chad Pansy

1h16min30

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102 pages. Temps de lecture estimé 1h16min.
Are you tired of pretending to care? Do you want to survive life with the absolute least amount of emotional effort? Congratulations—you’re ready to become Dead Inside, But Functional.Life is exhausting. People expect enthusiasm, deep emotional connections, and basic human engagement. Annoying. But guess what? You don’t actually have to care—you just have to look like you do.This book is not about healing. It’s about perfecting the fine art of detachment while still participating in society just enough to avoid suspicion.Inside, You’ll Learn:☠️ How to master the dead-eyed customer service smile while thinking about absolutely nothing☠️ The science of responding to any crisis with “Damn, that sucks” and moving on immediately☠️ Why “It is what it is” should be your life motto☠️ How to fake emotional depth by saying, “I just don’t open up easily”☠️ Strategic bathroom breaks: The only legally acceptable way to escape responsibility☠️ How to nod convincingly while mentally escaping to Ancient Rome☠️ The trick to falling asleep in three minutes by accepting your own mortality☠️ How to function just enough at work so no one notices you’re doing absolutely nothingThis is not a motivational book. It won’t inspire you. It won’t fix you. It will simply help you navigate life in the most effortless way possible, while maintaining just enough interaction to avoid being declared legally missing.
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